this though is where im not sure
it could be very tempting to look at the words: balance and life and conclude that the balance there includes some sort of modern ideal about food, relationships, excretion, purpose etc as being equally balanced ‘needs’. I dont think that applies to the balance im thinking about when it comes to expression though, and i dont want to make it ‘rock n roll’ or ‘monastic’ or anything really i.e not a comparison to other perceived hardships/excesses we actually do require for ‘survival’
beyond that, i sort of chuckled looking at the “trying” part of what i wrote. I’m not a philosopher nor do i even have a lot of actual concrete knowledge behind this stuff other than my experience with addiction. I was always trying to shape my life into some sort of balance, i spent all of my energy on it tbh. It led me into some very imbalanced places personally. The question sort of remains, do we decide what the balance is? or is that just a distortion? or will someone else let us know what harmony actually is in via the exterior? Or, and my personal train of thought, do we just ‘do’?
I’ve lived a very curiosity and pleasurable knowledge driven life so far i think, and many ‘sacrifices’ have been made along the way i guess. Ive accomplished some stuff “creatively” and it means nothing. I dont truly regret any of it so far although a lot of pain to other people happens because of my decision making(or lack of?) at times. I wish i could share my experience with others in a more broad way, but i have my skillset and am p content with it.