thats actually pretty interesting i think and i want hear more. I relate. It sounds like youre on right path to mindfulness but peace will never come from trying to remove something imo
You’ve never dealt with my wife’s mother… 
Srs tho, maybe it’s then more an acceptance of what you can’t change/remove.
But removal in some cases for me has contributed to a greater inner peace. That which I can;t remove has required a great deal of perspective shifts, and examination of what exactly about the thing/sitation was perceived as negative. A lot of the time, that exploration showed me that I was the issue; the negativity came from within.
As fro the creatvie aspect, when I was in my 20s and 30s I suffered greatly with mental health, trauma, etc and my creative output was prolific and wide-ranging. As I’ve (and I dislike the term as it sounds trite) mellowed, my creative endevours are more narrow, and i dont invest as much time into them as I used. There are many-fold reasons for this I’m sure but one is definitely not having the issues to use as a muse. Pain used as a paintbrush if you will.
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I have to. It’s what I do.
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The process is its own reward, not the product.
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It is just what I do.
Some people will like it.
Some people will not.
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Wow! ty for the input, welcome to Maslow’s bottom tier of existence
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I have to do it!
This is me.
i know you meant this in a wide ranging sense, but it also reduces pretty much everything outside of our pleasure/reward dopamine circuit to being just that in a massively reductionist way or just a very boring outlook on creativity
its a fair place to be but on a holistic level we dont actually operate from there and its a lot more interesting to discuss the other areas instead
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for me this is the really interesting stuff, i think there is a really tough transition that happens when our early expression needs to be as loud and apparent as the stuff we go through during the massive transitions in early adulthood. It can feel like that drive is ‘gone’ after a while, but in reality: as our emotional vocabulary goes through the roof our ideas of expression get a lot tamer and nuanced in my experience and from that, more rich and valuable. (if we let it)
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Why we do this.
Can’t even explain except through music.
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i produce to pass the time in something which i enjoy doing and see it as a time relic. i will name my songs about how i feel that day if you saw my library of songs and the titles i called them lol.
then look back at it and reminisce or dismiss, as cliche as it sounds therapy. in a way i selfishly do this not to bring joy to other people or add any value back to music. with all the techniques i know i could produce way better music with a thought in mind that i want to please people and make what i perceive people would enjoy.
its like looking into the mind of someone, same with visual art and other hobbies. martial arts etc
say for example i feel down in the dumps i will make a 8 bar loop or which has loads of potential listen to it for about 2 hours or so haha. then i will delete it makes me feel better. sometimes a whole 5 minuite song
i guess its a form of meditation. shame because when i feel like this i make song really abstract shit but it feels too personal so i release it in the form of shift delete.
i much prefer the process than the end product
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This is a fantastic take.
This sentence in particular nailed it.
A lot of my early stuff was reactionary, provocative, and meant to shock, most often purely for the sake of being antagonistic. “Loud and apparent”. A declaration of existence.
Your point on nuance is very interesting as well. In my 20s I had pain, anger, confusion, sex, drugs, alcohol, and a bullheaded attitude - as Henry Rollins said, “I wanted to fuck on the floor and break shit”.
I still have some of those things, but they’re shades now, hues, and tones. Not vast slabs of indignant colour. And it’s wonderful.
Edit: Sorry I feel like I’ve basically reworded your post without adding to it 
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exactly the same for me i have mellowed alot
was this aimed at me if so nah man its all good didnt think that
what from im feeling from you, and i relate with a lot, is that it gives you a Voice <3
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yeah and i dont mind if its not heard by the world, a few people and im good with that
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so what is ‘it’ that keeps us going forward now? we dont need to scream anymore maybe. Although i’d argue that it is quite the opposite
I know for me personally i need to shout and yell and scream more than i ever have in my life now
if we arent screaming in our expression then what are we trying to express?
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Quoting Henry Rollins’ anti rave hate speech smh
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